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Life is a Highway

Archive for 200610     ( return to current blog )


 Life is a Highway, They walk among us!
 

 

 

"THEY WALK AMONG US "

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, He put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even One person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were Too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed The sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution...

They Walk Among Us!

 ====================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which Direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking Him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When My brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, She shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

 They Walk Among Us!

====================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a Call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting To end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" .

They Walk Among Us!

 ====================

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard One of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her Weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think She'd get sunburned because the car was moving". .

 They Walk Among Us!

 ====================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt If she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk..

They Walk Among Us!

 ====================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and Gave us a 20% discount....

They Walk Among Us!

 ====================

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an Earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned Her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart No matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us!

 ====================

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area So I went to the lost luggage Office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and Told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good Hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"..

Yep, They Walk Among Us, too .

 ====================

They walk among us, AND reproduce!

 

 Have a great weekend...GO BIG RED!!!

 

HOOK

Posted by HOOK69 at 12:21 PM - 10 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 My boys.
 

 

3 sons out of 4.

Evan, Jace, Sean, Kyle is missing, he was sick today.

 

 

My oldest son, Sean and I. He will be leaving for the service Monday.

Please keep him in your prayers.

 

Posted by HOOK69 at 8:45 PM - 7 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Life is a Highway, Enter at your own risk!!
 

Must be 18 to enter.

 

Please visit  http://www.urbandictionary.com

I found these urban definitions to be hilarious, but please be warned, some parts, MOST PARTS, of this post are offensive.

Enter at your own risk.

 

A Beaver

Attempt to give a ladies pleasure parts some horizontal refreshment, only to discover that it is far to hairy and looks like Bob marley in a leglock, thus you calling a taxi and going home.

 

 

Belgium kiss

 

A kiss where a loogie is passed from one person to the other.

 

 

 

Dirty Sanchez

 

Dirty Sánchez describes the practice, in which the active partner, immediately following ejaculation, inserts the finger into the anus of the passive partner and then smears a mixture of semen and feces under the nose of the passive partner. Eventually, the finger is then licked off by both partners. The naming was chosen, because this was to evoke the impression of a "Mexican moustache."

 

Cleveland Steamer

 

The cleveland steamer is far more specific than the listings I have seen here. A sexual act by nature (fetish) the cleveland steamer is when one person craps on another person's chest and (very important) then sits down and rocks back and forth like a steam roller.

 

 

 

Arabian Goggles

 

 When a man sits on someones forehead so that his testicles cover there eyes and his shaft runs down the lenth of their nose.

 

 

A beating from the Love Truncheon

To slap a woman roughly in the face with your penis. Works better with a massive penis.

 

 

 Buck Whizzle

 

The act of urinating on caged animals for training purposes when all other methods have failed. (also works with humans)

 

 

Screwage

 

Describes the liquid products that make up the "wet spot" after doing the horizontal mambo. Synonym - fuckle

 

P-Clipped

 Individually pull out someones pubic hairs with a tweezers.

 

 

Rusty Trombone

 

To get rimmed whilst recieving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.

 

Prick

 

An all around fucktard, dickweed, assrat bastard, that can easily be mistaken for a boner-biting dick-fart fuckface.

 

Pribble

Small amount of urine that dribbles out of one's penis and onto one's underwear within moments of a post-urination sheathing of the penis. Immune to any of a variety of vigorous and/or embarassing shaking techniques.

 

 

Cheese Ranger

 

An extremely sad and pathetic individual whom wanks constantly.

 

F'loafernutter

 

Noun - Derived from fishloaf, used to describe when a man has sex with a woman who hasn't kept up with routine hygiene processes.

 

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did!!!!!

 

Hook

Posted by HOOK69 at 4:40 AM - 5 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Life is a Highway, Look what I did. QQ
 

HI Everyone,

It's Nursey.

I screwed Hook's settings up somehow, all his stuff is at the bottom of his posts...his profile, his favorites. If anyone knows how I can fix it please leave it in comment 'cause I think it looks really silly right now.

(He's gonna be home tomorrow...come on, help a girl out )

I like the new colors though.

Help !!!!

 

Thank you!!

Joy

 

P.S. I had to delete his last post, it had something to do with that....so sad, no more "Ode to the Husker's" he he he.. Go Blue!!!

Posted by HOOK69 at 12:51 PM - 4 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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Author: HOOK69
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Age: 45
 
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